Coach Kathie's Blog

The Law of Attraction is incredible.  In March, I went to the Goddess Weekend, and it was an awesome experience.  You can see my posts about it here on my Retreat and Renewal blog.

At the Goddess Weekend, we wrote a “love letter” to ourselves, which we addressed to ourselves and handed in.  I wondered when we would receive it in the mail, but I didn’t ask since I wanted to be surprised.

Today, the letter arrived.  I have just been through the loss of my elderly dog, an emotional time.  You can read his memorial blog here.  Some incredibly serendipitous things happened after his passing that I blogged about on that blog.   The other day, I received his cremains, and that brought me closure.  I started feeling better.

So, the timing of receiving the letter today was perfect.  I was on my way to walk my  younger dog down to the park, checked the mail before going, and decided to bring the letter along.

On the way, I tried to remember what I wrote, but couldn’t.  When we got to the park, I sat on a bench and my little Chihuahua asked to sit in my lap, with her little irresistible Chihuahua smile (which is a full face, ear to ear smile).  With my precious little dog on my lap, I tore open the envelope.

They say that transitions begin with endings.  Sometimes losses cause us to re-evaluate our lives.  The letter spoke to me perfectly, today.  Was I surprised?  Yes, I was surprised and delighted.  But I have grown to expect this kind of surprise and delight as the Law of Attraction brings me just what I need, at the moment I need it.

My little dog’s condition brought me back to a state where I enjoyed just being.  Actually, God provided the situation for me, the invitation, and I took it.  I have enjoyed this tremendously.

Today, I went on my walk.  I listened to the birds, the wind, and just quieted my mind.  It was a walking meditation.

I cross a busy intersection on the route I walk, in order to get to the lake that I like to walk around.  I always press the button and wait for the pedestrian crossing signal.  This is my habit.  What is the rush?  Why take a nice walk, quieting my mind, and then frantically run across the road against the signal in order to save a minute?  If it’s a walk for relaxation and exercise, let it be that.

On the return trip, I pressed the button, and waited on the sidewalk.  What happened next was a surprise to me.

One of the motorists waiting at the light decided I needed to cross the road.  He honked the horn, and waved frantically at me to GO.  I shook my head.  This guy was visibly upset about this.  But, the light was against me.  What was that all about?  I wasn’t holding anyone up, I wasn’t obstructing anything.  I was just standing on the sidewalk waiting for the light.

I thought for a moment, how we think we know what’s best for someone else.  How we try to push this on others.  And how silly it is that we get upset about it!

Then, I returned to quieting my mind.

I had a great walk.

I have had the most amazing week.

It started out pretty sad, actually.  My husband and I had “that talk” about our 15 year old dog, who is quite ill with congestive heart failure.

When my husband brought up the topic, it brought things into focus.  I was so busy with “life stuff” that I was just going on autopilot.  This discussion brought all that to a screeching halt, and I essentially took a week off from my life and concentrated on what was really important.

We visited one vet, who said nothing more could be done.  We made “the appointment” for several days later and I was then in terrible grief.  But this was a blessing in disguise.  When I took a week off from my life, so to speak, I spent it with my little dog.  I smelled the roses.  I had nice walks with him (of course, he had to be in a buggy).  I took pictures and videos.  I honored his little life.  I continued blogging on his little blog that I started back when we realized he didn’t have much time left.  That can be found at http://feitlebaum.blogspot.com/

At the 11th hour, my husband proposed that we bring our “little old man” to the vet specialist just one more time, since we owed it to him and ourselves.  We are currently in the process of evaluating his quality of life, with some changes made by the specialist in his medication regimen.  If those changes don’t work, then it truly is time.

I find this very interesting, an invitation from God.  I accepted the invitation, and then things changed.  In between the invitation and the change, however, I went on a journey.

After going through this week, I feel that God gave me a chance to step back, take a look at things, and take some time to process what was needed to process.  God gave me the nudge to take some time to do this, so that I could come to a place of peace.

And I did.  We don’t have the final answer in this situation, but we do now have peace.

What a special week this has been.

“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved”.  ~George Sand

This quote, for me, is about equality.  Not putting yourself or anyone else on a pedestal, and not putting yourself or anyone else down.  Just being fellow human beings on the planet, each with something unique and wonderful to offer the world.  Sure, there are situations where one person has authority over another.  But that is a role, not the essence of being.

For the person who has spent a lifetime thinking they are “less than”, to discover that they are actually equal to others is exciting and liberating.  To discover the people they put on pedestals are actually equal also, is exciting.  To really feel this deep down, in the heart, is empowering.

In the bible, it says that God is Love (1 John 4:16).  It also says we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26).  Are we then, made in the image and likeness of LOVE?  That is an awesome thought.

Loving also includes loving yourself.  When we have a love for ourselves, it then spreads out to others.

What is unconditional love?  It’s love without judgment.  That doesn’t mean we won’t be disappointed with the behavior of others from time to time.  But unconditional love (allowing) gives people the freedom to be themselves.  And we have the same freedom, to be ourselves.

Just some thoughts, on love.

We all know that person, the one who thinks of the one disaster that could happen if something is tried/done.  The character “Debbie Downer” of Saturday Night Live fame is a person like this.  WHAHHHH WHAHHHH……

What if (fill in the disaster)?, they say.  What they may not know is they are activating a negative vibration with these kinds of thoughts and fear based emotions, which will attract a like vibration to it.

My mother would fill me with fear and trepidation about horseback riding.   What if you fall off and break your leg?  Then you’ll be in a cast.  No wonder I developed a fear of horses!

One nice tool to use in cases like this is to challenge the negative what if, with positive what ifs.

What if (fill in something really great happening)?  Yeah, what if I do so well with horseback riding that I win awards?  What if I’m a natural at riding horses and it’s effortless for me?  What if…..

Sometimes I like to play a game with a negative what if person, who is what-iffing in a negative fashion when I tell them, with enthusiasm, what I am planning.  The game is “Well, what if (and I say just the opposite, reframing it in a positive direction).  I talk about how many other people have done this thing without any difficulty or mishap.  Hopefully, the person gets the point.  And if they don’t, at least I feel better.  I’m not dragged down into that negative emotion, that “burst your bubble” feeling.

So instead of WHAHHHHH WHAHHHHH, it’s OH YEAH!!!

Is there something you want to do, but something about it is stopping you?  Maybe it’s something really small, but it is a block nevertheless.

For example, years ago, when I was much younger, I took a few horseback riding lessons.  The stable I took the lessons from had a requirement that you clean the horse at the end of the lesson.  You cleaned its hooves, and took its saddle off, and brushed the horse.  Problem was, I was taking the horseback riding lessons because I loved horses and because I wanted to challenge my fear of horses.  It took a lot of energy for me to just do the lesson itself, and I was ready to just get off the horse and go home at the end of the lesson.  Not only that, but it was quite a drive.  The last thing I wanted to do when the lesson was over was tend to the horse.  My “energy account” was reserved for the drive, and the lesson.  I was overdrawn in my energy account by tending to the horse.  It was a good thing to learn how to tend a horse, and a good experience, but perhaps the wrong timing.  Perhaps down the road a bit, once I had adjusted to riding, I would have had more energy in my “account” to add tending to the horse.

Eventually, I stopped the lessons.  I was reluctant to start up again, because of this issue of having to tend to the horse when I’m already tired.  And a desire to learn to ride just lay there, for years.

What could I have done instead?  I could have gotten creative.  I could have explained my situation to the instructor, or the owner of the stable, and asked for options.  Perhaps an option would have been to pay a little extra, and the instructor would tend to the horse after my lesson.  Perhaps another employee of the stable could have helped out.  Maybe this particular stable would not accommodate my request, but another would.  It was really an easily remedied situation, with a little creativity.  I could have explained that it was not for a lack of wanting to tend the horse, but other considerations, that were the issue.  I wasn’t lazy.  I was just tired at the end of a lesson.  Perhaps I could have asked for accommodation, for a limited amount of time, say a couple months.

And perhaps there was a bit of an irrational belief that when one starts riding, they must jump in and do everything at once.  Did I put that on myself?  I didn’t have to.

That fatigue was probably time limited.  Like when you start a new job.  It takes so much more energy at the start of a new job, because you are learning company policies, putting names on faces, who everyone is and what they do, what the responsibilities of the job are, and so on.  6 months down the road, everything runs like clockwork.  You know all this stuff, and you don’t have to expend energy on it any more.  It’s automatic.

Maybe you want to host more dinner parties at your house.   You love cooking, preparation, and socializing, but not the clean up – so you avoid giving dinner parties.  What ideas can your creativity come up with to remedy this?  Can you hire a maid service?  Can you barter with a friend?  List all the possibilities.  And go wild with brainstorming.  Maybe an idea is crazy, but that idea will spark the idea the solves the problem.

The point is not to let a small but solvable problem stop you from what you really want.  So, if I ever take up lessons again, I will make use of my creativity to make a point of agreement before I start.

As I have gone through my life, I have wanted lots of different stuff.  Maybe some of the stuff I really needed (like a glass of water when I was thirsty or a good hot meal when I hadn’t eaten in a while).  Some of the stuff was just stuff, though.

Some of the stuff I thought I wanted.  But I never thought to consider WHY I wanted something.

Nowadays I consider why I want something.    It’s a great practice in introspection that can be helpful in discovering things about yourself.  This is especially good to do if you are prone to collecting lots and lots of stuff and want to start to control the deluge so to speak.   Maybe if you sit for a moment and consider why you want something, you’ll be surprised at what you realize.

Maybe you think you want a wardrobe of fancy clothes, and if you got that, you’d be happy.  But what do you really want?  The admiration of people?  To feel successful?  What is at the bottom of it, really?  Maybe you already have the essence of what you want, without the credit card debt!  That’s a gift in itself.  Wow, you can revel in how much money saved not getting that stuff  you thought you wanted.  I wonder what that would add up to in a year’s time.

I’m not against stuff.  I really like stuff.  I have just found it to be a fun game to get to the bottom of why I want something.  When I have done that, it sometimes has changed whether I even want it.

And yes, sometimes I still want the stuff.

Someone was at my house recently.  They accidentally chipped a cake display dish I had out.  They came to me and told me.

I surprised myself, and probably her, with my reaction.  First, I said not to worry at all.  I had gotten the cake dish at a garage sale, and it was really no big loss.  Secondly, I was all excited that now that the dish was damaged, I could use it in my art studio.  Now it is proudly displaying all my sponges that I like to use to paint with.  The chip in it is meaningless.

I did appreciate her honesty, and told her so.  I have been disheartened in the past when I have found damaged items that people just left for me to find.  If they had just told me it was an accident, it would have made all the difference to me.

I then told her a story of honesty, that had happened the day before, to me.

I had ordered two boxes of protein bars from a company.  They sent me a different product altogether.  I called them, and they said to keep the other product, but they would send out the protein bars I ordered.  I then received FOUR boxes of protein bars.

I knew I had to call them and tell them the mistake.  Why?  Because honesty is really worth it.  I wanted to enjoy those bars, and I only could if I corrected the situation.

They surprised me by thanking me for my honesty, and telling me to keep the extra two boxes at no charge.

This is grace and flexibility, in action.  And, the protein bars are yummy.  I guess I passed the grace on.

“Freedom” and “Boundaries” sound like contradictory terms, don’t they?

But they are not.  When we have proper boundaries, which we establish to take care of ourselves, we are then free.

For those of us in the helping professions, and this includes the medical profession, counseling profession, coaches, massage therapists, physical therapists, and more, our underlying motivation is to help people.  And because of this strong desire, boundaries are very important.  We have to know where those boundaries are, so we can communicate that to others.

We have to take care of ourselves first, otherwise we will be too exhausted and burned out, and the helping professions risk losing a valuable member of the team.  This happens every day, this phenomenon called burnout.  I have experienced it myself, in the past.

Boundaries can help with this problem, and can give the freedom we need to take care of our own needs, so that we are then free to serve others.

Everyone needs boundaries, not just those in the helping professions.  The demands on our time these days is enormous.  One day many years ago, I got a phone call from a woman who didn’t even know me.  She wanted me to volunteer for something in the women’s club I had joined.  I had only gone to one meeting, and wasn’t even sure at what level I wanted to participate yet!  When I declined her invitation to volunteer, she said in a scolding way “everyone has to take their turn”.

I was a little taken aback at that, but people will put this kind of pressure and guilt on you to get you to do what they want you to do.  How will you respond?  If you have established clear boundaries, and given a lot of thought to it, you can say something like (for example) “I’m sorry, Mondays are the day I take just for myself and I’m not available to volunteer that day”, or “I’m just not available in the evenings, I have reserved that for family time”, or “My schedule is already full but I’ll let you know if anything changes”.  You don’t have to explain either.  You don’t have to give a reason, unless you want to.

People in your life may protest if you have always said yes in the past, and you can’t blame them for that because they want it the way it was – which was convenient for them!  But hopefully they will get used to the new boundaries soon enough.  You may have to remind them from time to time.

Practice being authentic.  If someone dislikes you for setting a boundary, at least you were true to yourself.

Enjoying the process is a good habit to cultivate in life, since we are always in the process whether we like it or not!   If we can enjoy it, we are ahead of the game.

What do I mean?

Well, let’s look at some examples.

Do you like to go on vacation, but hate the packing, traveling to your destination, etc?  Well, why not try making the packing and traveling time PART of the fun?  How can you do that?  I don’t know how you can accomplish that, but there are many ways that you can explore.  I like to spread out my packing over several days, reveling in the idea that I’ll soon be on vacation.  I imagine myself swimming in my bathing suit, wearing a certain outfit to dinner, etc.   I like to sometimes take longer to travel to the actual destination, so that I can enjoy something on the way such as a museum or the like instead of blasting past it in a mad frenzy to get where I’m going.  Come up with some fun ideas!

Waiting for an appointment can be grueling or fun.  You can either sit there mindlessly flipping through a dull magazine or perhaps you can bring an interesting book with you, put a tv show on one of your devices to watch, or the like.  Maybe you can bring your laptop and get caught up on emails.  Maybe you like to play solitaire.  Or maybe, you can meditate for a few minutes.

When I was in my master’s program for mental health counseling, it seemed that most of my classmates were completing the program much faster than I did.  I took a lot longer because I wanted to enjoy the process.  Instead of just “getting through it” with a lot of pressure, I immersed myself in it at a slower pace so I could enjoy it.  And I did.

What about the drive or commute to work?  Listening to some books on tape or just giving yourself time to enjoy some time alone with music can be relaxing.  Then if you get caught in traffic it’s a lot less grrrrrr and a lot more hmmm this book is really interesting.

Let your right brain come up with some brilliant ideas for you.

I must admit, I enjoy the game “Words with Friends”.  My husband’s family got me involved with it over last Thanksgiving holiday.  It’s fantastic, I can play with friends in other states, and we can play at our convenience.  When I was a kid, we all had to find time, assemble ourselves, and set up a board game.  We had to play it start to finish right then and there.  I still enjoy that from time to time.

I thoroughly enjoy the game Words with Friends.  And, I think it’s a good game.  It stretches the brain.  Working out the brain can be beneficial as we age.  Read a related article from CBS news about this here.

Not being one to waste time, I had purchased some crossword puzzle books, and was working the books whenever I had to wait for an odd block of time – such as at a dentist or doctor appointment, or the like.  I then came across an article specifically about crossword puzzles and their benefits, which only boosted my desire to keep it up.

A distressing trend to me, however, is that some people “cheat” at the game.  I’d like to offer my thoughts as to why we should consider not doing this.

One.  If you cheat by using a computer word generator, you are cheating yourself of the benefits of stretching your brain.

Two.  But everyone is cheating, you say, and you will never win if you don’t.  Hmmmmm.  Why do you have to WIN?  Why do we have to “crush the opponent”?  Let’s just enjoy the game!

Three.  If someone is impressed with your word, and you actually generated it yourself, then it’s a genuine compliment.  But does it mean anything if it came from a computer generated source?

Four.  If I play with someone who is cheating, I’m playing against a computer.  I want to play with a PERSON.  We are disconnected enough in our society; let’s not bring that into our fun time too.

Five.  If I play against someone who is cheating, and I am also cheating, then two computers are playing the game, not two people.

Six.  And finally, I personally don’t find it to be any fun to play against someone who is obviously cheating.

Just my two cents.  However, if you like to cheat at the game, by all means enjoy yourself.  If I play against someone who I suspect is cheating, I accept it.  I just play, and enjoy myself.

That said, I’m just wondering WHY we like to cheat at the game.  It might be worthwhile to explore.  Who knows what we might discover about ourselves, that would be helpful.  Our behavior related to the game can really put a spotlight on some of our tendencies if we let it.  Are we too competitive?  Why?  Do we hate to lose?  Why?  Are we addicted to the game and impatient with others to hurry up and take their turn?  What is that about?  Approached in this way, the game can not only be a brain stretcher, but it can help us to stretch as people too.   That’s pretty awesome.

I have been bitten by the “Declutterbug”.  This happens from time to time, and when it happens, I go with it.  It’s really fun to do, and I always have such a great feeling when it’s done.  I always wonder when that little guy is going to bite next.  And I kind of look forward to it.

I used to run a group online years ago to help women keep a clean home.  I called the group “A Clean House”.  Every day, I would send an “assignment” to the group.  It was easy, and could be done in a short amount of time.  Looking at a mountain of mess can be daunting, but when you chip away at it a little at a time, it’s not so overwhelming.   For example, I had some shredding to do.  I put it in a pile, and committed to shredding a certain amount per day.  I was so excited to realize it would be all gone within two weeks time with very little effort!  Then I “upped the ante” of the game, and thought well what if I doubled my shredding time today?

I would always start in one corner of a room, and work my way around the room.  I would work in increments of time.  I would calculate how much time I had to apply to the project, and take into consideration my energy level and how much I could realistically commit to.  This kept me going.  And if I missed a day, I refused to feel guilty.  And I didn’t double up the next day either.  In other words, I made it a fun game that I would enjoy.  You don’t say “oh no, I have to play a game now, what a drag”, do you?  Of course not – we look forward to playing a game.

When I was a kid, I was always excited about cleaning out the old stuff to make room for new stuff every year.  As I was growing up, my needs changed, my body size changed, my tastes changed.   When we become adults, we feel guilty about tossing/donating/selling stuff.  We feel guilty about the accumulation of stuff.  Why?  We didn’t feel that way when we were children!  And, for our entire lives, our needs change, our interests change, and our bodies change.  And we can leave behind those things that no longer interest or serve us, just as we did as free spirited children.

So, have fun with it, and play….

Many years ago, when I was still single, I lived in an apartment complex.  Each apartment had a picture window facing a lake in the middle of the complex.  A couple doors down, a young man lived who had a calico cat.

For some reason, I really loved that cat.  And the cat seemed to love me, too.  The young man would let her roam, and she would come to visit me at my apartment.  She would pace back and forth in the picture window of her owner’s apartment when she saw me.

I wanted that cat.  And she seemed to want to be with me, also.  Seemingly impossible situation, right?  So I put it out of my mind.

Well, one day, there was a notice on the community bulletin board about a cat free to a good home.  Could it be her?  It was, and Kitty was mine.

Fast forward to the present.

I had a beautiful Shorkie puppy, who died in a tragic accident two weeks before his first birthday.  I was bereft.  After two months, I felt ready for another dog, and I remembered Kitty and how she came to me.  I decided to pray for a dog, with the specifications I wanted, and then wait.

I had to go to the vet with my Shih Tzu, Punkin, for his checkup.  I mentioned to the vet that I was praying for a dog.  She said they had the dog for me.  A rescue Chihuahua.  I met her within a couple days, fell in love with her, and took her home.  From the time of my prayer, to the time she was in my lap?  About one week.

And, by the way, she met all my specifications.  I wanted an older dog this time, as I didn’t feel up to raising a puppy so soon again.  Wiggins is a small dog, loving, sweet, and quiet.  As a matter of fact, the vet said she is a very unusual Chihuahua, and that they broke the mold when they made her.

There is another aspect to this story.  When Punkin was about 8 years old, I wanted another puppy.  My husband and I could not come into agreement about it, so we didn’t get a puppy at that time, and 5 years passed.  Wiggins was around 5 years old when I adopted her.  She would have been born right around the time I wanted a new puppy.

It has been my custom to get up in the morning, have my morning coffee, and check my email.  I have changed this custom, based on what happened today.

When I checked my email, I got an email that upset me greatly.  Being the introspective person that I am, I wanted to know why I reacted to the email so strongly.  The person who sent it didn’t mean any harm, at all.  They didn’t mean for me to feel as I did.

I was upset for hours after reading that email.  I think I actually wanted to feel my “righteous indignation” for a while.  And I also wanted to figure it all out, and benefit somehow from the experience, instead of just sweeping it under the rug.  ”Squeeze the juice” out of the experience, so to speak.

I had a conference call with friends scheduled shortly after I read this email, and I opted out of it, because I felt I could not have contributed productively to the conversation based on my emotional state.  Thankfully, I had the option to miss the conference call.  I know of a counselor who, when they are having one of these days, reschedules with clients, because they don’t want to bring negative energy to the session.  As long as this is a rare occurrence, it can be an option.  It’s not always possible.  One has to balance responsibility.  Responsibility to oneself, and to others.

I stayed with the experience, and realized that a hot button had been pushed.  The hot button connected to an old memory that said “when you put yourself out there, you get slapped down” – which is left over baggage from years and years ago.  This of course is a lie.  It’s an interpretation; a filter based on prior experience.  However, I am thankful that it came up, so I could deal with it and root it out.  These things can get lodged in the mind and body until something wakes them up and surprises you in the process.  It’s not a pleasant experience; it’s like having a tooth drilled without anesthetic – but once the decay is gone, it feels better.  And I do feel better.

When one is on a healing journey, and we all are, these things happen.

My new email custom is to filter my emails and not just have them all dumped into my inbox.  That way, I can deal with emails as I see fit, and not as they are thrown at me.  I feel more empowered.  And, I feel more organized.

I feel better, and thankful, like some of that old “baggage decay” was drilled out.  So, in the end, I can be thankful I received that upsetting email.  It was an invitation – to heal.  And the person didn’t even know they were inviting me to heal when they clicked “send”.  That’s beautiful.

Happy New Year!!

Dancing with Joy!

The past year has been a joyous one on the road to recovery for me from my struggles with Fibromyalgia.  If someone had said last New Year’s Eve that I would be sitting here typing this blog post about this topic, I would have been skeptical.  And yet, here I am.

Last night my husband and I went to a New Year’s Eve party with friends.    We had not been to a New Year’s Eve party in many, many years.  As a matter of fact, we had not stayed awake long enough to ring in the new year most years either.

Many years ago, it was our tradition to go out with these same friends to various parties for New Year’s Eve.  We always had so much fun.  This was a gift to us, to experience this again.

We were a bit concerned about our ability to “make it to midnight”, but lo and behold – not only did we make it to midnight, we danced the night away!  Both of us had energy and it was a blast.  After the party was over, it breezed through my mind that I might “pay for it” today with soreness, but I quickly dismissed that negative thought, and I’m not sore today at all.

How can I explain the feeling?  GRATITUDE.  At the end of the evening, the ball dropped and they shot off confetti.  Somehow, one of the confetti tubes was aimed almost directly at us, and we were  COVERED in glitter.  I think that topped off the fun of the evening.

May your 2012 be happy, healthy, and prosperous.  Prosperous in all ways.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  May dreams come true for you.

Life is exciting, because of the fact that it’s a journey.  We never “arrive”, we are always on the journey.  I have found that when I accomplish a goal, there is always something else I want to do.  Something else I want to learn.

This is the good news.  There is always something to look forward to; we have unlimited opportunity for growth.

What do you do to nourish your growth and development?  There are several aspects to a wellness program, which includes taking care of your body, your mind, your emotions, and your spirituality.  It’s not just about the treadmill and watching what you eat, it’s about YOU as a complete person.  If you neglect any of these aspects of your complete personhood, there is a lopsidedness that can be quite uncomfortable.  That discomfort, though, is a signal that something is out of whack and needs attention.

What do you do for fun?  We have a need for fun which is built into us.  If you can find a job that’s actually fun for you, you are a fortunate person.  Do you take regular vacations?  Even if it’s for a weekend getaway?  Do you have a hobby that’s relaxing for you?  What do you really like to do?

Do you make yourself a priority?  If not, why not?  I’m reminded of the oxygen masks on airplanes, where you have to put the mask on yourself first before you can help anyone else.  Without that oxygen mask, you wouldn’t even be able to take care of yourself, let alone another person.

Just some thoughts from one traveler on the journey.

I define wellness as the state of optimizing one’s potential. But what if you have a chronic illness, a handicap, or the like? You can still achieve a state of wellness. You can still optimize your potential.

How is this possible? Isn’t that trying to reconcile opposites?

Not at all….

This state of wellness is within the limitations that you have. It’s different from person to person. We all have our challenges; yet we can still make the best of our talents and capabilities. And, perhaps in doing so, we find strengths and talents we didn’t even know we had.

This is a positive definition, not focusing on lack. This definition takes into account accepting one’s limitations and yet moving towards growth. Not beating oneself up about the mistakes of the past, but in moving ahead. Sure, other people might want to remind you of your mistakes, but you can’t undo a mistake. You can, however, do better from now on. Reliving the past over and over and over won’t change it. And, many mistakes were done in innocence – not even knowing it was a bad decision. Let it go – judging yourself or others based on knowledge you have today, but didn’t have then, is terribly unfair.

As we progress through the various stages of life, there are losses that we experience. Perhaps our health changes; perhaps we suffer other losses. How we handle these setbacks and losses makes all the difference. It makes the difference between a champion and someone who is still stuck in the mud.

I have had my challenges in life – and if you would like to read more, go to my main web site (www.kathiethaw.com) and click on “Coach Kathie’s Story”. It is my hope that you will be uplifted and encouraged.

It’s never too late. Above is a picture of me training for a half marathon. I had just completed running the Golden Gate Bridge in both directions, and was celebrating. That was before I was sidelined with FMS.

9/23/11, I started jogging again, after getting the OK to proceed. I jogged 4 minutes out of 20. While this might not sound like much, it is a beginning, and I am celebrating again, as much as I celebrated in the above picture. I feel as excited as I felt then. It is a victory, to be back.  Each time I add another minute to my time, I celebrate again.

I encourage you to celebrate all victories also. Look at what you have DONE, not what you have not done. Not comparing yourself to what was. Who knows? I may regain all that was, and more. All I have to do is keep going.

I am working my way up to the Couch to 5K Program.